The Power Hour

If you have spent the last couple of weeks actively scavenging the more barren parts of the Internet for random and superficially significant information, you should know that the dreaded Earth Hour is upon us once again. Every year thousands of people turn off the lights in their homes for one hour, in an attempt to alleviate global climate problems. How all this is going to help save the environment is unclear, but their enthusiasm is commendable (if nothing else).

I took myself the liberty of critically going through the videos attached to the Earth Hour Facebook page, and stumbled upon this thing:

For those of you who did not immediately burst into violent convulsions, allow me to put this video into context. One of the men appearing in the clip is David Icke. Icke is a former BBC sports presenter turned writer. What does he write about? Well, after a psychic told him he had a special purpose on this Earth, he went ahead and assumed this special purpose lie in his destiny to uncover the foul conspiracy of this world being ruled by giant talking space-lizards from the Draco constellation. These reptiloids are invisible to the naked eye (of course) and feed on our evil thoughts.

“Bring me the heart of an innocent child!”

This is another good example of why you shouldn’t make life-altering decisions based on the claims of someone who makes wild guesses while yelling at a crystal ball.

Other people in the video include “doctor” Deepak Chopra and Manly P. Hall, who, despite his awesome name, is absolutely full of shit. One interesting thing I found was that both Icke and Chopra call themselves “public speakers”. And if there’s one thing history’s taught us, it’s that we must be extremely wary of “public speakers”.

I’m just saying…

Overall the video is quite painful to watch. It takes Einstein’s theories and then butchers them beyond recognition. According to modern physics, we are indeed made up of energy, but this is not something you might want to convey to the macro-level realities of everyday life. Because if I were to punch you in the nose, your primary concern would most certainly not be the processes by witch a trillion energy particles just hugged one another, but rather the processes by witch your face became very solidly broken.

In addition to the gross misrepresentation of the physical universe, the video also makes use of all the New Age visual cliche’s – there is a shot of the Milky Way, a close-up of a human eye, a tortoise, a bird and a tiger – all set to a song by Enya. Honestly, you could not make it worse.

Maybe with more tigers?

Sure, most of the people participating in the Earth Hour event couldn’t care less about all the New Age nonsense, but this doesn’t mean they’re any less ridiculous. So, instead of switching off all the lights and appliances I will be turning on every TV, computer and water heater I can get my hands on and decorate the entire house with thousand gigawatt deluxe christmas lights. This year’s Earth Hour will also provide me with the opportune moment for breaking in my homemade fission reactor.

It’s what nature would’ve wanted.

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